the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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