one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Randomize
