Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize
