Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
