Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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