i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
