Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
