Christians are straight up FREAKS
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
