The maid of honor just puked.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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