Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
