if you like me you must not know who I am
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
