Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
