I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
