You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I don't deserve a penis
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
