You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Are these your boobs on my camera?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
