I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
