booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
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