we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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