im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
well, you know. whores of a feather.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize