it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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