walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
last night I used snow as a chaser
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