I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize