I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Randomize
