i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
