You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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