Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Randomize
