I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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