NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
