ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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