why didn't you poke me back
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
