wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
