A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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