Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
