I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
