I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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