I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
