i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
