Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
