I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
i permit you to call me
I didn't shave. On purpose
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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