4 words: hood of his car
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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