I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
so explain again why im purple
no
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Then you guys just all showered together...?
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