Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
