Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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