Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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