Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
