Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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