Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
