You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
