Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
