she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
