I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize