This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
