Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
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