Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
