Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize
