I just made out with a guy for $7.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Randomize
