Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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