I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize