So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
