Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
