If that was your dad, he is hot
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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