Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
