TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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