I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
