Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
