your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
That's intense
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize