Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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