Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
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