Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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