You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize