I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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