How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
In America we eat man semen.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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