i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I heard we made out
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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