There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Its about making memories worth repressing
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize