I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
