I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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