It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize