We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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