I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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