Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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