Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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